Robert Payne (4 Aug 1933 - 27 Dec 2023)

In loving memory of Robert Payne who sadly passed away on 27th December 2023
His funeral was held at Southamptom Basset East Crematorium at 1215 on Thursday 25th January

To view the live webcast (or a recording later) of the short service including family tributes please use:
Website: https://watch.obitus.com
Username: veke9638
Password: 200550
(On Demand viewing of the recording will be available approximately 2 working days after service)

The Eulogy
Welcome Thank you for coming to celebrate Bob with us
And welcome to our global audience Carmela, Lauren & Alex in Australia and Mary, Tone & Helena in Ireland and in London, Bert and Harriet.

Susan wrote this tribute with assistance from Aggie, Philip, Ann and others....

THE GENTLE MAN - Robert Charles Payne

Born in London in 1933, Robert ‘Bob’ Payne was a much wished for son for Ernest and Kathleen Payne. Six years later in 1939 a beloved daughter Dorothy ‘Dot’ Amelia arrived as a wonderful and “very naughty”, little sister to Bob. The family was complete!

Despite the challenges of the war and Bob’s evacuation for safety to live with his Auntie, Bob and Dot enjoyed an idyllic childhood. At every opportunity they travelled to the coast, especially Broadstairs, for boating, fishing, and swimming. Bob was an inquisitive and creative child and liked to make his own toys and showed an early grasp of working tools, a talent that would help him in later life. Hunting for spare wood in dangerous bombed out buildings - much to the alarm of his father - Bob built the most sky-worthy aerodynamic model gliders that he launched from the highest viewpoints giving him great satisfaction!

Excelling in Maths and Sports at St Clement Danes Grammar School in Holborn, Bob also revealed some of his personality traits: calmness, modesty, determination, kindness as well as a huge wit.

Bob’s skill in maths and accounting led him to be offered an accountant’s apprenticeship but he turned it down because he did not want in his words ‘to be trapped in an office’. Instead, he joined the family firm of shoe repairers and very quickly was given his own shop to manage.

Bob’s world took a giant leap when he met the love of his life - a beautiful Irish girl, Philomena from Ballyvoile, County Waterford - also known as Aggie, Pat and Patsy - who at 16 years old had joined some of her older siblings in London and whose first job was in the café next door. Bob’s frequent trips to buy tea, sandwiches and cakes did not go unrewarded and eventually he was brave enough to invite Philomena out on a date. Bob wanted to show Philomena his beloved Broadstairs and on their third date, he phoned his father to ask if he could bring a friend to Broadstairs. “Just tell him to be on time” directed his plain-speaking father. “It is not a ‘he’ it is a ‘she’” Bob retorted. Philomena soon became a much-loved member of the family.

Interrupted by RAF National Service in Khartoum and Egypt Bob acquired a taste of the exotic as well as learning more engineering and logistical skills. However, the intense heat and bright sunshine were contrary to his pale freckled skin, and he was delighted to return to his beloved Patsy, family and even the English climate.

The most important thing to Bob was his beloved wife, children, and wider family. Blessed with the arrival of Susan, closely followed by Paul, another bonus arrived with the birth of Philip. Family life was full of love and security as well as - you can guess, fishing and boating and sporting endeavours as well as competitive cards. In time, Bob and Pat were delighted to welcome me, Carol, and Carmela, as well as beloved childhood friends who are here today, Rosaleen and Ann, into the family fold.

This brings us onto Bob’s third great love - Ireland. It was a family ritual to return to the family home farm in Ballyvoile near Dungarvan, Ireland every summer for several weeks - everyone invited! The farm has a beautiful position nestled in the valley of the Comeragh Mountains up on the cliffs, where you can practically hear the lapping of the sea waves from the farmhouse. We have so many happy memories of family picnics, parties, and storytelling in front of roaring fires, sharing meals, and drinking tea, walking up the boreen path to the cliffs and in the mountains, swimming in the sea and rivers and of course, fishing …… The Emerald Isle really was father’s spiritual home.

It was always a priority for Bob to share hours with his family. We have so many happy childhood memories spent with Auntie Dot, Uncle Bert, Peter, David, and Tracey. In addition to holidaying together we also made joyful visits to Auntie Kit and Uncle Boucey, Nancy and Eric, when many tears were shed on parting company. Auntie Mary and Uncle George were at the heart of the family too.

After many happy years in Ealing, West London, in the seventies Bob moved his family to Deal in Kent - a beautiful coastal retreat. The lure of sea air and fishing was too compelling. Bob was fully engaged in community support and offered to help elderly folk with electricity, plumbing and general challenges. Combined with mother’s Sunday roasts and home-made apple pies Bob had found heaven.

Bob’s maths skills were not wasted. He tutored Susan, after swapping schools, to take her Modern Maths O Level in one year, a year early and gained her a great grade.

Always the first to offer aid and kindness. As most people stretch to the terrifying heights of DIY, he was even more confident and adopted the philosophy of DIFO - Do it for others! On Bob’s first visit to my tumbledown cottage in Sussex just after I had met Susan, he brought ceiling props to hold up my dining room beam that had collapsed under the weight of the bath above. He removed the broken ceiling plaster, reinforced the ancient beam, fixed, and filled and painted the new plasterboards. All before Sunday lunch! I knew that I had, at last, found my father-in-law!

We recognised Bob’s voracious reading. Bob consumed at least one historical or thriller novel a week. In recent years we knew that if, we heard him humming his ‘I am bored tune’, we had to find a new project or a new book for him.

After the sudden death of our beloved Paul, Bob and Pat moved to central Hampshire in 1997 to be near Susan with Philip and Carmela moving from Sussex very quickly afterwards - reunited.

Retirement brought many years of joy. After the birth of Lauren and Alex, Philip and Carmela emigrated to Australia to sample life Down Under. Bob and Pat enjoyed many long winters break holidays with them under the Aussie sun.

Another memorable holiday was in Las Vegas – it was his lifetime’s dream to visit ‘The Ratpack's Strip.’ After a long day of exploring the Hoover Dam and the desert landscapes, Susan and I bid them an early goodnight. Two hours later we crept down to the casino to find Bob and Pat beaming with happiness and energy on a one-arm bandit.

Regarding gambling, Bob and indeed the whole Payne family had enjoyed a lifetime of playing whist and cribbage. His card playing skills were exceptional and he could still keep score and win convincingly, even as dementia encroached.

Another adventure was on a trip to Japan when Bob – a meat and two veg man at heart - suddenly became a bon viveur, experimenting and enjoying thick Macha green tea, strange Japanese sea foods, chopsticks, sushi, noodles etc. Who was this new age man??

As we have noted, wit and kindness are two of the enduring hallmarks of this truly gentle man. Bob worked hard and diligently throughout, dedicating his life to his beloved wife, children and extended family. Philomena says she is blessed to have had such a wonderful husband. We, Bob’s family, are all blessed to have such a dedicated loving father, grandfather, brother, brother–in-law, father-in-law, uncle, great uncle and friend.

Rest in well-deserved peace………