Brendon Tomlinson (25 Mar 1977 - 14 Dec 2023)

The first I’d heard anything about Brendon was when I had a call here in the UK from my mother in South Africa. We’d already been in the UK a few years by then. Her exact words, “Ohhhh, your daughter has met a very nice young man, from a really good home and JA, he’s so handsome, too!”. Well, when we finally met Brendon in the UK, I had to agree with my mother. I could see where my delightful little granddaughter, Chelsea, got her high energy levels from. Brendon was a good guy at heart and always willing to help others and so I was particularly grateful to Brendon for taking Duane under his wing for a while in his life when Duane was back in South Africa and away from me. He taught Duane many of his early skills in electronics and car mechanics. Duane will probably say more about this than I know. I remember giving Brendon his first car, a red Ford escort estate, that I’d bought for a mere £250 in 2002, and by 2005, I thought it wasn’t going to last much longer. Brendon thought he could extend its lifecycle and sure enough I think he kept it going for longer than I did. As it took a while to get settled in their first jobs here in the UK, Brendon and Duane did many of those little jobs that are always ‘going to be done’ sometime never, like, sanding down and varnishing the old table and chairs and connecting lights at the back of the garden. It was then that I saw Brendon’s character. He was a real trooper. A hard worker and best of all he always prided himself on a job well done. As we discovered in his latter years, he was a perfectionist and would not relax until the project he was working on was of the highest standard possible. As we sit around our pond each year, we will remember Brendon’s superb electrical system that he installed for us with a sense of deep gratitude. Ja, Brendon, we will sorely miss you. Living in a different country is a lot more than what it appears to be on the surface. The cultural differences make for much amusement at times and I recall a time when Brendon really made us laugh. It went something like this: Brendon phoned on WhatsApp and sounded very concerned. “What’s wrong, Brendon?” I asked him. “Aunty Denise”, he said, “I think your WhatsApp has been hacked!” “Really, why do you say that, Brendon?” Well, as it turned out he was concerned that as a grandmother I shouldn’t be posing in my swimming costume on a beach, which is all that it was for me anyway. My husband, Ian, was happy with it but not Brendon. He scolded me about being a grandmother and thought it was inappropriate. This is just one aspect of how the subtleties of cultural differences impact life in different parts of the world. Anyway, it was an interesting insight and of course a bit amusing for me anyway. Ian truly appreciated Brendon’s regular phone calls to have a chat with him and Chelsea and we hope that we somehow, made him feel a part of our extended family as best we could. I had a few phone calls with Brendon’s mother, Bernadette, before she passed on and I had promised her to also ‘look after her boy’ as she had ‘looked after my boy’, Duane, and my daughter, Laura when I was in a far-away country and they were not with me. I sensed her anxiety and we’ve always tried to keep Brendon within sight over the years, especially as he was the father of our dear granddaughter, Chelsea.
Brendon, you will always be in our hearts and prayers. Sahle gahle, Brendon. (Goodbye in Zulu, the local African language we all grew up knowing so well). May your soul rest in eternal peace.

Denise and Ian Taylor (Chelsea’s grandmother and her husband)