It has been a year since we lost you Mum. You are in my thoughts every day. Love and miss you. Your Poppet.
Joan Marion Callon (2 Dec 1935 - 9 Sep 2023)
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In loving memory of Joan Marion Callon who sadly passed away on 9th September 2023.
Mum will be missed by all her family and I am sure by all friends and neighbours who will no doubt remember her for her love of gardening and cats (not necessarily in that order).
Oh, and how could I forget her great passion for jigsaw puzzles on those days when the weather was too bad for gardening? Or her never missing an episode of all the TV soaps, no matter what else was going on. I imagine she is still following them from wherever she may be now.
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Nan - By Felicity
Nan showed love, not in words, but in acts of service.
Ne-nar to me and Abby, there were always cheese slices for Abby, dairylea triangles for me. The Ribena was always stocked up. Everyone knew that the country slices were Abbys. you were always guaranteed a good cake or biscuit - due to the Callon sweet tooth.
Ne-nar never forgot a special occassion or birthday - ever. The card was always early and the present well thought out and planned. she loved buying the great grandkids presents , not just anything it had to be something they wanted and shed wrap them up meticulously and enjoyed the thought of them opening them. she was so proud of them and their differences, and fiercely protective of our parenting. she loved them dearly, even though Louie and arria could drive her to distraction with their loud games and running about! she wouldnt have been without them.
when abby and i were children, Ne-nar collected the 'dinosaur' magazines for us, where you got a piece of bone for a T-rex every issue and dinosaur playing cards. They were ordered every month for what felt like years and at the end Ne-nar secured all the missing cards in our set and sent off for them, including the shinys.
I'll always remember boxing day, the excitement of all the food, Nanny and Ne-nar would share a sherry midafternoon, we would open presents after dinner and always play a board game and watch a film - there was never a moment we were bored or fed up, looking back we were probably quite spoilt really, we were inevitably always home very late. When i got older i would get there early and try to steal some sausage rolls out of the tin theyd been stored away in and would get told off.
There was always time for a board game or painting or wordsearches, Ne-nar would buy Abby and I identical wordsearch books and we'd chose a page and then race to finish first.
Sometimes Id visit Nanny with Ne-nar, and i remember when she had her new car, but had never used the radio and we were off to Nannys and i was fiddling about with the buttons and suddenly i pressed something and the radio blasted out so loud, nan swerved and i siwtched it off straight away never to be spoken about again. i had no appreciation for the fact she was probably quite a nervous driver having passed quite late on in life. When Nanny passed away, i visited Ne-nar every day, in my own way i was afraid she'd be lonely. This went on for a while until Nan stopped offering me dinner, i think this was her way of saying she didnt need me to keep coming round. turned out theres a difference between being lonely and being alone.
And as it turned out, i think Nan quite liked being alone. Infact, as abby and i reflect we think Nan found some peace in being alone, and being able to make her own decisions. alone of course, apart from her beloved cats. Nan felt the loss of sandy particularly, she adopted Eric from us when he kept trying to escape, Abby and I bought her chester and charlie for one of her birthdays - the only souls ive seen allowed to wreck her house and get away with it and of course Lilly who she loved until the end. Abby told me a story of a cat shed found who wasnt well and took to nan, nan took him in and found out he was very poorly and he had a short life in nans care. There was common theme amongst nans cats, they werent so keen on any of us but they really adored her!
On one visit not that long ago on a saturday (cleaning day) she said 'do you know what i just cant be bothered!', with a cheeky grin on her face. to nan it was a big deal. There was a beauty to Nan you only saw if she really trusted you, a laugh, a smile that showed who she really was. Nan told me at that visit about a dance she attended when she was in the Navy, the excitement of getting ready, the dressing up, the dancing ' oh i loved it' she said, the soldiers bringing cigarettes in and all the girls having a blast. those were the days, she said. As a nan, she would always have a little dance with abby and I or our friends. theres a photo of me abby and nan at my wedding that shows that smile that hides a thousand words and we will cherish it.
It was in her later years, that i learnt from Nan that love is many small things, neatly arranged. small acts of kindness, small pieces of happiness found in a board game, or a puzzle, small acts of love in caring for her cats and making sure they always had their favourite food, and that they were never out when parents were on the school run, or the careful tending of her greatest love the garden. When nan as little she had a puzzle that shed done so many times, that she could actually do it backwards with no picture. In those small pieces of happiness Nan grew a world of peace for herself.
The last text i sent to nan was this:
' i want to say thankyou, i wouldnt be who i am without you. youve always been there for me. and i appreciate it. when life wasnt easy you gave me love and hope, it means moe than you know'
- as i reflect on that i realise that the words dont matter. what matters is what we do, and how we show up. i hope i showed you nan, how much i loved you.
Nan often said she wouldnt ever move, because of her neighbours. she felt safe around them and knew they looked out for her, she trusted them. We are grateful for the compassion and care shown by them, so thsnkyou.
in the final few months of her life, Nans children, my dad, uncle and aunt, honoured her in their greatest act of service to her. they cared for her, moved furniture, put photos in the right place, tended her flowers, made sure she was comfortable, provided her with her favourite cakes. Nan wasnt scared of dying, but she wanted to do it on her own terms. She put her trust in her children, and they answered that call. so i want to say thankyou to them from everyone, for making sure she felt safe and loved right til the last moment.
im sure that there are many acts of love you can think of that nan did for you, whether it was potting up plants for you, gifting you something, sending a card, or just worrying about you and being a listening ear. That was nans love- reliable, unconditional and quietly fierce. she gave more than she took in this world. and that is probably the best legacy you can leave.
to me nan felt like home.
so I hope you knew nan, in our actions, that you meant the world to us.
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