Iris Joan Taylor (2 May 1938 - 14 Mar 2023)

In loving memory of Iris Joan Taylor who sadly passed away on 14th March 2023

Mum was born on the 2nd of May 1938 and lived her early years in Caterham Surrey whilst World War two raged across the globe. Consequently, her father Tom (my grandfather) was absent for much of her early childhood as he was serving our country in Europe whilst Iris remained in the care of her mother Alice.
Tom never spoke much about his experiences during the war; indeed, I remember being quite surprised when many years later he shared some of those stories with me including one where, as a truck driver in the European theatre, he was caught up in the German counterattack at the infamous battle of the Bulge. He remembered waking to find German troops in the streets near where he was billeted and being profoundly relieved when the German column (which included at least one tank) turned down a side road and drove away.

For all such stories my grandfather’s thoughts always remained with his young family at home, which was more important to him than the war could ever be.

Likewise, my grandmother Alice never shared with me many memories of mum’s early years although one she did share was of pushing a pram whilst German V1 missiles flew overhead.

‘You knew you were safe if you could hear their engines’ she once told me. ‘It was only when they stopped that you knew to take cover…’

My mum was too young to remember much about the war years although she once did share with me the memory of being upset because she was too old to receive a ‘micky mouse’ themed gas mask.
As a child my mother suffered from polio and at seven years old was near death from peritonitis.
Her younger sister Angela remembers:

‘The hospital told Mum when she was with Iris that they didn’t think she would pull through; and thereby hangs the story that Mum was crying all the way home on the bus whilst outside the country was celebrating the end of the war.’

Angela is not sure whether it was VE day or VJ day that was being celebrated but remembers that Alice was pregnant with Iris’s brother Peter at the time.

It was a different world then and one that is hard for us to understand today.

Thankfully mum survived and as the war ended my grandfather Tom returned home to work in his family’s fish and chip business. Based on its success the family moved to Keston in Kent where mum was able to enjoy the rest of her childhood and teenage years in prosperity and peace. Her younger brother Peter remembers:

‘During school holidays in the summer Iris’ many friends used to come and party and swim in the swimming pool and play on the tennis court.’

It was also at this time that my mum went to school at Kinnaird Park in Bromley where she met and befriended her lifelong friend (and my god mother) Diana who remembers:

‘I knew Iris from early school days at Kinnaird Park School, Bromley. We became good friends. Her parents lived in a lovely house in Farnborough, where we all enjoyed get togethers especially in the garden. Her father owned a chain of Fish and Chip shops which I was occasionally allowed to visit with Iris for Fish and chips! Happy memories at school, Church youth group, ballroom dancing classes with Frank and Peggy Spencer.’
Later the two would lose touch briefly as Iris attended secretarial college and Diana became a nurse. The friends were not to be separated long however and were constant companions throughout their lives.

The family then moved to Middleton-on-Sea where Mum worked for John Wickens; who owned the Redskin Caravan Company in Chichester who also owned several racehorses which were trained by Peter Dawson. My uncle Peter remembers:

‘Iris met Peter and they started dating and subsequently they were married, and they set up home at a property with stables at Patching in Sussex. Peter then started training for Mr. Gordau who bought a training yard near Reigate where Iris and Peter went to live.’

The business was still successful until the early 1970’s and I was born on the 21st of November 1963. Unfortunately, by the time I was 8 the training business was shut down and sadly my parent’s marriage did not survive its collapse.

Mum and her sister Angela lived together in a flat in Bromley for a while; Allison remembers that time fondly:

‘When we lived at the flat together in Bromley, she was absolutely marvellous in looking out for me in that she always made sure I had dinner before I went out and also taught me how to cook various meals, and how to get the right food in at the cheapest prices etc. She was of course a terrific cook having done a course in Corden Bleu cookery, she never thought that she was any good, but she was brilliant.’

Shortly after this my mother met Jim Evans and the two were to share a relationship for the next decade. Even though they were never married, and shared an on off relationship, mum remained with Jim until their separation in the early eighties.

During this time mum spent a brief period as one of the first female claims brokers at Lloyds of London. Jim later told me that she made quite an impact on the underwriters there and her warm manner and ready smile charmed many a policy into being signed!

Sadly, during this time my grandfather Tom passed away as a result of a long-standing medical condition.
Eventually mum was to end her passionate but unstable relationship with Jim and on the rebound met and married her second husband Allan Rowe. Unfortunately, this marriage also did not last. Although I do not know the details of the split, mum once told me that in living together they discovered they didn’t really suit each other.

After an amicable split with Alan, my mom moved back to Middleton to live with her mother Alice. She told me then that all she really wanted in life was a small cottage of her own and a loving partner to share it with.
Although she never did own her cottage mum was blessed with finally meeting the love of her life Roger Taylor and moved to live with him in Worthing until they retired. My uncle Peter remembers:

‘Iris worked in Bognor Regis and joined the South Downs Rambling Club where she met Roger Taylor who had a bakery business in Worthing. Things progressed and Iris went to live with Roger and when he retired, they moved to Middleton to be near Alice. Iris and Roger enjoyed a happy retirement, Roger playing golf, Iris enjoying the beach, and both of them cruising and South Downs walking.’

Mum was further blessed with the arrival of first my son Patrick and then my daughter Tiana. Whilst it took her a little while to accommodate the fact that she was old enough to be a grandmother, she loved being one, and thoroughly enjoyed those occasions when we were able to visit together.

Unfortunately, it was during these happy times that Alice passed away and shortly after the first signs of Mum’s Alzheimer’s appeared. Despite this the Roger and Iris continued to enjoy many adventures during their retirement until Mum’s condition made that impossible.

Roger never wavered in the face of this terrible illness, and the couple remained devoted to each other until his eventual death, despite the fact by the end Mums Alzheimer’s worsened to a point where he was exhausted caring for her.

On Roger’s death, mum’s condition was such that she needed the specialist care and my wife Iwona and I moved her to the Milton Care Home, which was within walking distance of where we lived, and provided her with outstanding care until the day she died. Some of those carers are with us today and I would like to extend my thanks on behalf of my family for their loving care of Iris.

Despite her storied life of ups and downs I would ask you to remember that Roger proved to be the loving partner she had always craved. Her hero. Alzheimer’s is a terrible condition that destroys a person’s memories one by one until very little remains. So much so that by the end I found it very difficult to visit my mum who no longer remembered me. But I would ask you to remember that despite her final illness mum enjoyed many adventures in her life and remained very certain up to the very day of her death that she was ‘Mrs Roger Taylor’.

Which in the end was all she had ever wanted.