Bonnie Chapman (31 Oct 1946 - 12 Dec 2022)

In loving memory of Bonnie Chapman who sadly passed away on 12th December 2022.

EULOGY - BONNIE CHAPMAN

Section 1

We would like to take a few moments to tell you a little bit about our Mum. am sure you will all have fond memories of Mum, and we would love to hear those over a drink later on today but here are a few of ours as a family. Mum, we hope this makes you Proud and thank you for making me the person I am today.

The family would like to thank you all for joining us here today in such large numbers.

Mum was born in Barnacola, near Longford, Republic of Ireland on 31st October 1946.
One of twins, her twin sister, Jackie is here today. Sadly, their mother died shortly afterward giving birth, their father returning home from mass to find his twin daughters either side of their mother.

Mum and Jackie had three elder siblings, Sister Catherine, Jim and Lily. Sister Catherine is joining us today from Kenya via live stream. Sadly, both Jim and lily have already passed away.

Mum's father remarried and had two further daughters, Loretta, and Antoinette. Antoinette is here today. The family all grew up on a farm helping Dad with livestock in the fields.

Having gone to school in Rooskey, Mum left with the Irish leaving certificate equivalent to O' Levels and came by boat to Liverpool at the age of 16, working in a care home until she started nurse training at Warrington General Hospital.

In 1967 when Mum was only 21, Mum's father passed away and sadly she was unable to get home for the funeral due quarantine restrictions.

At Warrington, Mum qualified as a nurse and then became a Senior nurse on the wards. This is where she met Dad. At the time, Dad was working as a porter to help fund Medical School. Mum saw Dad in the canteen and said to one of her friends that is the man I am going to marry, her friend laughed at her, little did she know what was to transpire.

The course of true love never runs smooth. Their first date was a bit of a disaster, having arranged to meet at the local Irish Centre they managed to miss each other as Mum was at one door and Dad was at another. Needless to say, the next meeting in the hospital canteen was a rather frosty one.

Their first real date could be seen as a vision of things to come, where Dad invited Mum to the mortuary for a coffee. The mortuary did not have a kitchen fridge and I believe this is the last time Mum ever had milk in her coffee.

In 1969, Dad moved to Leeds to study medicine and Mum completed her midwifery training at Manchester. The courting was done by post or the Nurses Home phone box. You can imagine the difficulties in ringing the home full of nurses and trying to get hold of Mum with the money running through the machine.

Mum applied for jobs in Leeds and though offered a post at St James Hospital due to a rare event, postal strike did not receive the offer letter. In the meantime, Mum secured a position at Bradford Royal Infirmary. After two years of travelling between Bradford and Leeds, Mum secured a role at St James Hospital.

On the 9th September 1972, Mum and Dad got married and had recently celebrated their Golden Wedding anniversary. Dad continued his studies in Leeds for another four years with Mum being the breadwinner supporting Dad through this time. Mum continued her studies doing a management course and so every night they both had their heads in books.

In 1975, my sister Christina was born whilst Mum and Dad were still living in Leeds. In 1976 Mum and Dad moved to Sturton by Stow, two years later I was born. At Shelton House, Mum knew the value in growing your own food, we had a small allotment, where we grew potatoes, carrots, cabbage and many other fruits and vegetables. There were many occasions where I could hear Mum scolding the rabbits for eating all the vegetables and leaving us with nothing but rhubarb.

Mum loved her garden; her love of flowers and colour is something we will always remember. Only a couple of years ago, Dad counted 84 plant pots full

of flowers that all needed watering (from 5 water butts). Mum would just smile, and Dad would laugh as he knew this was her love.

At Sturton by Stow we had some bad winters, one year we had six feet of snow on our drive. Mum being her conscientious self, knowing the car would not get off the drive, walked six miles to get to work to be able to look after her patients. Mum was always caring for others.

When Dad became Coroner in Nottingham, Mum moved to the QMC taking a Senior Sisters post in Outpatients. Later, Mum reduced her hours moving to a Nursing Home working with a lovely team who are here today, Jane, Mary, Wendy and Pam, as they continued to stay in touch having many dinners together.

It was Mum who supported Dad throughout his career, not only financially but emotionally and with love. As Dad's career progressed as a Doctor in General Practice and on to be Coroner for Nottinghamshire. Mum was his strength, his guide, his rock, a great listener but not afraid to offer her opinion when needed. Mum was always to be found at Dad's side whatever the Civic function.

Mum was always active and keen to learn new things, whether this was training to be a magistrate, a post she held for many years, or learning to ride a bike again in her 60s, she fell off but was not deterred and got up to try again.

Mum always loved new challenges, in 2020, Mum took on her greatest challenge when in July of that year she became a grandmother for the first time to our daughter, Evelyn. Mum, Nanna, was brilliant she loved Evelyn and Evelyn loved her back, even the nappy changes were a joy! It was with real delight that in January this year we were able to bless Mum with a second granddaughter Freya. Even a few weeks before Mum passed, I took Freya round to see Mum, they held hands, Freya giggled, and Mum smiled.

Mum was a devote Catholic all her life and was a member of this Cathedral congregation for over 30 years. Mum and Dad regularly attended 10:00 mass on the back row, next to the radiator just to keep warm. It is wonderful to see so many of the 10:00 congregation here today. Mums was active not only at the Cathedral but years before Mum and Dad attended Monk's Road Catholic church in Lincoln, where they made many friends offering a home or an open

door for hot food and great company. We are delighted to have Monsignor Tom and Canon Jeff here today.

Section2

Mum had a love of music and dancing. She even taught Dad to Irish dance. Mum and Dad won many prizes for jiving over the years.

At home, music was always playing, Mum loved different styles of music from 60s rock & roll through to church choral music. Mum's one true musical love was Daniel O'Donnell. On many occasions Mum would queue for tickets, Mum and Dad travelled far and wide to see him in concert, visiting Wales, Ireland and Spain. When Mum first became ill, Bridget from the Care Home contacted Daniel and he sent a personal video to Mum, as many of you will have seen.

Mum and Dad loved to travel with many holidays abroad, they loved to take train journeys, travelling through Canada, the USA, Japan and China all by train. In 2003, Dad came home and told Mum that he had booked a three week holiday to Australia, Mum was so excited. After working out the dates Michelle and I looked at each other, raised our eyebrows and informed Mum that it was the British Lions rugby tour. The rugby was only twice a week, they both had a fabulous time together sightseeing. In the later years Mum and Dad went to Tenerife every year in March and November, so Mum could get her Winter sun and warm her bones; she loved the sea view and walking along the beach front.

At home, Mum loved to entertain, hosting many dinner parties with the moto that no one should ever go home hungry. Mum was such a perfectionist she had a little book with all her dinner party details and what food she had prepared to make sure she never duplicated meals for her guests. As children we looked forward to the dinner parties where we would hide on the stairs waiting for desert to be finished and then we were allowed into the kitchen for leftovers, especially the damson souffle and Baked Alaska. Still to this day Mum's damson souffle is the talking point. Mum used to trick us with food so brussel sprouts were mini cabbages and let’s not talk about the cucumber soup.

On of Mum's other hobbies was rifle shooting. She represented Lincolnshire Ladies which she used to attend with Gill, who is watching by live stream in Spain. I remember one school sports day our house needed more points to win the house trophy. The final event was parent rifle shooting we were about

to unleash our secret weapon, mum. Mum entered pretending to be a novice and surrounded by all these dads who tried to show her how to handle a rifle. She knelt only to be told by one of the dads you must lie down. Mum, still playing the innocent, lay down, fired three shots hitting the bulls' eyes on each occasion giving our house enough points to win the competition. Mum got up, looked at the dads and said, "I think that's how you do it". She still had 2 shots left to take.

Mum and Dad always brought the caravan to Sports day where she would spend time cooking and feeding all the children whose families could not get there. It was an extended family affair; this was Mum; always looking out and caring for everyone to make sure everyone felt loved and cared for.

Another memory I have of Mum, was on my 21st, I had a big party at my student house in Leeds. The next morning Mum and Dad arrived early to find bodies scattered all over the house. Walking around the sleeping students she turned to Dad to say, "you pop to the shops full English for everybody, I will get started in the kitchen".

We hope this has given you an understanding of the person Mum was, we encourage you to share your memories with us this afternoon as you are all invited to join us at Notts County Football Ground to have something to eat, drink and chat.

We would like to thank the Lymn's family who have been family friends for 30 years. Matthew attended my Wedding, driving the Phantom in thick snow through the church gates with Dad closing his eyes. Nigel and Jackie have come out of retirement to be here today. So, thank you for your support.

Our special thanks to Canon Malachy, who visited Mum weekly for prayers and communion. Canon has spent a lot time with Dad, going for Indian meals supporting Dad in many ways which we are very grateful. We would also like to thank Clare Rickett for her singing and Neil Page the Cathedral's organist.

The Care home have been marvelous, we cannot thank them enough for what they have done in caring for Mum. They were a huge support for Dad and for us as a family.

We would also like to take a moment to thank family and friends who have been a constant comfort to us all over the last few months ringing and checking in on Dad that he is eating and looking after himself.

Dad would like you to listen very closely to this song, God's Plan, written by Derek Ryan and sung with Daniel O'Donnell. Dad used to play this to Mum on a daily basis.

So before I close I would like to finish by saying

Somewhere in my heart beneath all the pain and grief Is a smile I still wear at the sound of your name.
Such a precious word is mum, she was our world you see God chose her for his angle to watch us from above.
To guide us, advise us and know that we are still loved When I think of her kind heart and all those loving years.
She always had a tender touch, a warm and gentle grin I want to thank you mum for teaching me so well Although this time has come for me to bid you farewell
I’ll remember all you have taught me and hope your proud of what you see Thank you mum for all the loved you showed me.