Mary Elizabeth Stolworthy (10 Dec 1929 - 7 Oct 2022)

In loving memory of Mary Elizabeth Stolworthy who sadly passed away on 7th October 2022

Mary Stolworthy
Early Life
- Born Mary Elizabeth Ward in Boyton, near Woodbridge in Suffolk 10th December 1929 as Mary Ward
- Parents Jim and Sarah (Dolly) Ward
- She had 3 siblings one older, Edward (Teddy) and two younger James (Jack) and Brenda. Margaret, Jacks wife became like another sister to her.
- Moved to 76 Capel St Andrew, where her dad was a stockman for Home Farm (owned by the Greenwell family)
- Left home at 14 to work for Dr and Mrs. Brooks-Keith. Dr Keith was the superintendent of St Audrey's Hospital and she looked after their son Richard.
- Mary went on to become a telephonist in Woodbridge from where she transferred to London to live with her aunt and uncle and is where she met Ken who was a telephone engineer
Married Life - Ken
- Mary married Kenneth Arthy on 28/8/1954 in Boyton Church and she became Mary Arthy.
- Ken was a keen amateur photographer and created some beautiful images of Mary.
- They saved very hard and bought a house in Orpington, Kent where Claire and Peter were born. Mary still worked and Nan Arthy used to come from Manor Park to care for the children.
- They moved to Benfleet in Essex where Sally was born. Mary was a home-help and was always caring for someone, whether it was Margaret Sallabank, Mr and Mrs. Woods, or Nan Arthy who came to live with the family soon after they moved in.
- There were good neighbours here, memories of June and Tony, the Tippers, Len and Lily Woods, Phyllis and Victor, and Jacqui and Ray.
- Mary worked hard, as a wife, mother and carer. She ran the carpet sweeper round the house, made the fire and dusted before any one else was up. She drove Ken to the station every day and even drove Sally to finish her paper round so she would not be late for school and there was always cake !
- Ken taught us all to garden - whether we wanted to or not. He also liked to supervise Mary when painting or gardening. Mary liked to garden and every plant was kept neat and tidy and grew under her nurturing.
- Mary also passed on her love of a line of washing blowing in the wind and anything not put away was in the washing machine before too long.
- In 1978 Ken died of a heart attack and within a year the family had also lost both Nan Arthy and Nan Ward. The whole family were shaken to the core.
- Mary was strong and pulled through with good friends and neighbours joining the townswomen’s guild with her childhood friend Phyllis. It was at that time that she took an evening class in cake decorating.
Eddie

- In the 1980’s Mary started working a the Basildon Development Corporation in Gifford House, Pitsea where she served teas and lunches.
- Here she met Eddie Stolworthy who was a chauffeur and he finally persuaded her to go dancing and he brought a ray of sunshine in to all our lives.
- They were married at Southend Register office and she became Mary Stolworthy.
- They sold their houses and bought the bungalow in Princes Avenue. It was undeniably pink!
- Her family expanded as the Arthy’s and the Stolworthy’s came together with Terry and Gary and their families instantly adopting her into their lives and hearts. Jenny and Lesley became a large part of Mary’s world.
- Mary and Eddie lived a full life, dancing and going on holiday including a trip to Australia to meet Eddies relations. They had a close knit group of friends including Jean and Ron and Gwen and David.
- Mary made cakes. Novelty birthday cakes, wedding cakes, Christmas cakes , anniversary cakes and fairy buns with the grandchildren.
- While she was married to Eddie her family grew again.
- Peter married Michelle and Mary and Michelle created a special empathetic bond and the two of them were always tuned into one another
- Claire married Joey and Mary regularly made the trip to Ireland (sometimes with a cake on her lap) and became a much loved member of the O’Leary clan. Joey always wears his love for Mary on his sleeve but she rarely understood a word he said.
- Mary and Eddie both retired from BDC but carried on working together at Choice.
- Eddie died suddenly and unexpectedly in 1996 This was a massive loss for the whole family.
Nanny Mary
- Mary touched lots of people’s lives and all the younger ones called her Nanny Mary.
- Her grandchildren, Kieran, Ben, Matthew, Andrew, Ruth, Marie and Sofia.
- Her great grandchildren, Ben, Tate, Jessica, Oliver and Isla.
Later Years
- Mary devoted her later years to looking after Sally and Matthew and relied on her good friends and neighbours after the loss of Eddie.
- Her and Jean Campbell became firm companions taking holidays and visiting Ireland together to see Claire and Joey and playing scrabble.
- The neighbours, Olive, Margie, Jean White, Doris, Sid, Gloria, Jim, Eileen and Dennis and “Sue on the corner” and “Sue across the road”, not forgetting Phyllis (Sue’s mum).
- Mary was especially close to Sue Reeve who lived across the road who cared for her when she became unable to care for others. As a family we will always be so grateful to know that Sue was there to patch her up or check in with her. Mary became firm friends with Phyllis who would come and chat.
- Mary drove until well into her 80’s. Her little silver 1999 Fiesta that she bought in Ireland gave her independence. However when she finally gave up driving she went out almost every day on the bus.
- Mary was impatient. Once she had an idea to do something she just did it. Sally often arrived to find her painting windows or the render around the base of the bungalow.
Final Chapter

- Mary was fit and even into her 80’s and 90’s had little medical wrong with her, she had a leaky valve in her heart and some Rheumatoid Arthritis but apart from that was well.
- Sadly as she approached her 90th birthday she had been diagnosed with vascular dementia which slowly became worse. During Covid she was lonely and so Mayfair Care came into her life and most specifically Maureen. Maureen was a joy, nearly 70 herself she and Mary were instantly bonded and Maureen often just stayed chatting or dozing with her in that afternoon.
- Mary started to fall and following a particularly nasty fall she broke her collarbone and was bruised from head to toe.
- The stay in hospital left her very confused and she was released to Brooklands Care Home. They looked after her and sadly during this final year Mary gradually lost more and more understanding and recognition. She had good care and died peacefully.
- Memories of her time at Brooklands will be of Della, who Sally and Mary often called into when taking a walk up the corridor. The sweet jars (she developed a very sweet tooth). The staff were all very kind and caring.