Patricia (Pat) Harcus (5 May 1957 - 25 Sep 2022)

In loving memory of Patricia Harcus "Pat" who sadly passed away on 25th September 2022

Pat's life began in Victory Road, Southampton.
Her early years were far from those a child deserves and yet, she did not let this hold her back. To the contrary, throughout her life, she turned her suffering into her strength. A strength which she shared often with others who struggled to find their own.

Pat's teen years were spent like so many others, at the Southampton Ice rink and at "Central" as she called the swimming baths. She was a keen ice-skater and really enjoyed "speed skating" and was a strong confident swimmer.
She also sang with passion and dedication in the Gospel Choir in Millbrook, near to her childhood home in Victory Road.

Pat began her own parenting journey at 18 years old and despite having no role models to guide her, raised three children. Marie (Wee), Clare (Noddy) and Alan. With one of her children needing specialist care and with almost no support, she endevoured to put herself through educational courses to continue to improve her own difficult start for the benefit of her children. She often said "I may not always know what the right thing is, but I always try to be the best I can be."

Pat did her best to give her family the stability and connection she did not have as a child and set about being the best parent she could be. Her children benefitted greatly meeting new people and having many positive experiences on the days out that she organised in many places such as; on the common, sports centre, Woodmill and in the New Forest. But, most of all, they benefitted from the abundance of love she had for them.

She was chatty, well liked and always welcoming wherever she was. Friends and strangers alike, loved to bump into her when she was out and about for a cheery genuine catch up over a cafe cup of tea. Pat had a remarkable ability to make people feel "at home" in her company and this lead to her being quite the confidante for any problems someone might have.

By the time Pat reached her early 20s, she had already built a "word of mouth" reputation for helping people in difficult and vulnerable situations. Pat often gave up all her time to those who needed her help wether she knew them or not. She did this without expectation and found satisfaction in helping improve the lives of others.

Pat also had a great reputation for her crafts. She loved to knit and had a marvellous ability to be able to look at a pattern and size up and down the needles, wool type and taughtness to make exactly the right sized piece. She mystically applied this when teaching others which she did keenly. She made many stunning items for family and friends and her baby blankets often later became heirlooms to their owners.

Pat also loved to make silk and paper flowers, which she did beautifully and professionally.

In 1984, she met her soon to be husband Eric Harcus. She immediately put her flower making skills into magnificent use, producing three beautiful bouquets for their wedding day on the 20th October 1986 at the registry office in Bugle Street. Many people attended the wedding, including doctors and members of the council housing department etc as these people had grown to love Pat as a friend having met her regularly as she helped others.

Pat joined her husband's Protestant faith and attended events as regularly as family commitments allowed. She proudly wore her collarette during the parades and again, made many new friends as she and Eric began married life together.

In 1993, Pat and Eric joyously welcomed a 4th child, Kirsten (Kay) and their first grandchild in 1995.

Pat's fun loving personality shone brightly as she playfully pushed the "Nanny" boundaries. Her grandchild, and the grandchildren later to come, adored her. "Come and see Naaaneeee" she would shout as they came in the door for a hug and a pick of the ever lasting biscuit box. And Pat had a child-like enthusiasm for Christmas. She would spend the entire year collating little treasures into one giant box of magic.

In 1999, Pat and Eric were introduced to a little dog named Bonnie. Bonnie needed a new home, and despite Pats life long fear of dogs, she could not bear the idea of Bonnie being unwanted or unloved. Such was Pats dedication to preventing suffering and instability that she fought her fear to welcome Bonnie that same day, and complete their family.

Pat continued to be loving and reliable as the family went through good and bad times as families do. She was a loving and powerful personality in the lives of all who met her.

Sadly, we all feel she was failed by the NHS in these difficult times. After a series of illnesses including a stroke, she received a cancer diagnosis. And still, through her own illness and traumatic treatment, she continued to do God's work by helping others until the last.

Pat was steadfast in her conviction that she would beat the disease, and none of us doubted her. She had fought her way through a terrible childhood, a terrible previous relationship and many great hardships. She had successfully fought the corner of many many people and she fought her way through the cancer treatment. And besides, Pat always won! She almost reached remission figures before an error in her treatment led to the cancer returning and we all had to use the strength we learned from her to accept this brutal situation.

During her final days, hours and minutes, she was comforted and cared for by her loving, loyal and devoted husband Eric, strong and nurturing daughters and loving grandchildren.

"Dear Lord, We are so grateful that you have made us all in your own image, giving us gifts and talents with which to serve you. Thank you for Pats life, and all the years we shared with her. We entrust her to you, in honour of the good we saw in her and the love we felt from her."